Originally Posted by
August252015 
That's what I believe to, about a relapse. To me, you're catching yourself in the very dangerous territory where acting on that impulse (and even planning/ideas) to drink could turn to action pretty easily.
When I get restless or "squirrelly" (that feeling of unsettled-ness, wanting more, wanting SOMETHINGt to take away whatever is bothering me) I need to act. For me, that does mean coming here, but it means, more importantly, going to a meeting even if it's the last thing I want to do. Asking someone to coffee and keeping the date. Getting a recovery memoir that's been recommended and going somewhere not at home to read it....
I also find that replacing "I have to..." or "I can't" thoughts (as in, "I can't drink and it sucks") to "I get to live without always planning how to drink and make sure no one knows." And so on.
That's how it was for me. Now I'm as good as the next guy at finding reasons to put things off, or not wanting to do things that I know I should. But I was lucky in recovery because I didn't have to force myself to do the right things.
With my first taste of success about a week into quitting I knew I wanted recovery more than anything. Thoughts and temptations, edgy feelings, bad days, and everything that could pose a threat, even just a small threat, were given a back seat to sobriety. Little things that seemed to work were done without a minutes hesitation. When I did something I had to do to keep me safe, there was never a whine. Instead it was done with pride.
A couple of times, I actually asked myself if I was carrying all this too far, but my immediate response was, "No, never." Sobriety simply became the overriding thing in my life. Everything else was seen as, "How might this affect my drinking?" If it posed a potential threat, it was set off bounds.