Clowery,
I'm glad you were able to go see someone in person and express everything that you have had inside out. It's a good first step. You need to take it one day at a time and it will get better for you. I agree with trying and find an Al-Anon meeting. It has been very helpful for me to go and just share with other people that are going through the same thing.
You are not the bad guy or even stupid for even trying to find a place for him to get help and detox. . You are just being human. You want to help him. You love him, that's what you do when you love someone. You want to get them help. The problem with alcoholics is if they get help it means they can't drink any more. They are always looking for that next drink. So he argues with you and says I'm a big boy I can do it on my own. He is trying to make the time table of when he get sober on his terms. He gets to decide when he is going to start and he has himself to answer to. So he always is correct. It's not going to happened unless he decides to get outside help.
Just keep being strong and focusing your energy on you and not him. Keep coming back here for help, we are here for you. Have a great day.