I want to have a couple of drinks, feel less panicky and also not feel so stupid about coming to the er yet again for apparently what is no reason other than anxiety.
In my experience of returning to drink with just a couple, after the initial
"relief?", I always felt more panicky and stupider than I did before consuming them because I knew
"here I go again" to a place my soul didn't want to be.
You wouldn't be on day 38, if your soul didn't want to be there. Listen to your soul.