Hi Jessie,
Welcome to SR! I’m so sorry for all of your losses the past few years, that would be a lot for anyone to handle. Have you considered going to a counselor to help you deal with your grief? They can also help you find healthier ways to cope with all you have going on.
This site helped me get sober almost four years ago. Two great threads to check out are the Class of November 2019, and the 24 Hour Recovery Thread. You will find incredible support in both.
I’m glad you’re here.
❤️Delilah