Originally Posted by zerothehero

I had to really think about this, because it depends on how you define problematic. The truth, though, is I started drinking to get drunk in the mid-70's and didn't quit drinking until 2013. In many ways it wasn't a problem until it was really a problem. I mean, I was a good student and employee despite frequent binge drinking, and for most of the near 40 years I drank I have to say I was having fun. Digging deeper, though, the combination of alcohol, marijuana, and other drug use was problematic from the time I was 13 years old. I became disinterested in athletics, for example, and I had plenty of relationship problems because of drinking and getting high. There is evidence it changed the trajectory of my life in numerous ways, such as choosing an easy path due to fear of failure, and not really fully pursuing what had been my dreams. I lived to party, mostly. I lived for the weekend. Probably the biggest evidence that it was a problem is that I got more than one woman pregnant who chose to abort, and I can't help but think that was in part because I was the would-be father, and there was little evidence I would be good at it. I was on a joy-ride, seeking pleasure and adventure at every opportunity. I was pretty selfish, really.

But what's done is done. I can't really say I have deep regrets. Occasional pangs of guilt, no doubt. Truth be told, it was a hell of a ride, and until I became depressed (situational and alcohol-induced) I didn't perceive it as a problem.

The biggest change for me was learning how to have fun without it. And I've done that. In fact, I can say I'm having as much fun as I ever did. The main difference is I'm not taking the risks I used to, I'm not seeking a rush, whether from adrenaline or acid. I no longer confuse fun with excitement. I'm walking the middle path.

And I went back to college and started a new career - in my mid-50's. If I can do it anyone can. There is a better way to live, and the younger you shift gears the healthier and happier you are likely to become.

Originally Posted by harriet11

I've been drinking for a very long time, but I can't really say that I feel I've wasted my life . It is what it is and it's who I am. I had anxiety and depression anyway and if I hadn't been drinking I would have been pretty miserable anyway and always found it hard to cope with life before drinking. In some ways whilst it was problem in that I often had a hangover, in some ways it gave me pleasure in life that I wouldn't have otherwise had. I managed two years of sobriety in my early 40's with the help of AA. I was miserable and unhappy, well down right depressed really. There were times of feeling empty, like I was disappearing or losing whoever I was, I felt like I was in outer space and floating around and coming apart into nothingness. So, I started drinking again. The pleasure may be fairly short lived but it seemed better than nothing. But that was before I went on Prozac which has changed my life quite a lot, though it's taken years for it to slowly do that. Now I feel I can look forward to some quality of life while sober. Besides I'm simply too old to carry on doing what I'm doing, especially as the binges are getting longer and aren't really so enjoyable anyway. I don't bounce back like I used to it'll probably take me months to have some energy after the last roller coaster.

I'm looking forward now to getting on with my arts and crafts and seeing my Grandchildren.