Auchieshuggle

For me it's been twenty years. Whilst I drank heavily from the age of fifteen, my drinking became uncontrollable from the age of nineteen, and I am now forty years old. I have deducted a year as I did have a couple of dry spells lasting several months during that time.

Feel free to add a comment if you would like to elaborate on your answer (like I have above) or comment on the poll.

Thank you.

Santi27

I think there's only one real answer and that's "too long." I realised that I was drinking problematically, accepted it and now am trying to stop it. For me counting the amount of time is negative as it leads to thoughts such as "I've wasted xxx years of my life" which is depressing.

I want to look forward and think about how many years of my life I've saved.

Auchieshuggle

Of course that's your opinion and you're entitled to it.

Personally, I always find it inspiring to hear the eighty year old man at AA say he stopped twenty years ago after FORTY years of heavy drinking. I think to myself if he could do it, then so can I. Further, it's not like one needs to revisit the poll once you have answered, and it is anonymous.

C0ntr0ls

I voted "Other" because "too long" isn't an option.

That's just my $1.98 worth and kind of how my mind works.

Santi27

No, there wasn't an option of "too long", but there was a line that asked for comments on the poll.

Callas

I would say almost from the first drink I ever had as I remember drinking more than others from the word go. For alcohol controlling my life I suppose the last few years but before that certainly it was always a problem even if only sporadically. I agree it is inspiring to hear from people who successfully quit after many years of drinking. In any event we all know how long its been a problem. It is just a fact of our lives.

SoberRican

But I can't say I have not drank and 190 days

SoberRican

Meant to say can. Lol

Auchieshuggle

Aye, me too.

I suffer from an anxiety disorder and, as I wrote in another thread, alcohol was this magical elixir which banished my fears and I felt happy, relaxed and wonderful! However even though I drank more than other people I still lived with my parents at the time and therefore simply couldn't consume the amount that would objectively be seen as 'problematic' - I was sober five nights of the week, for a start.

At nineteen years old, when I left home for university, I would drink six nights a week, every week. I would also drink until I pretty much passed out. That pretty much became the pattern for the next twenty years.

DriGuy

Hard to say. I picked 16 to 20 years, because I was well aware of it during that time. In reality, it would be more than 30 if I include the time I was denying it.

zerothehero

I had to really think about this, because it depends on how you define problematic. The truth, though, is I started drinking to get drunk in the mid-70's and didn't quit drinking until 2013. In many ways it wasn't a problem until it was really a problem. I mean, I was a good student and employee despite frequent binge drinking, and for most of the near 40 years I drank I have to say I was having fun. Digging deeper, though, the combination of alcohol, marijuana, and other drug use was problematic from the time I was 13 years old. I became disinterested in athletics, for example, and I had plenty of relationship problems because of drinking and getting high. There is evidence it changed the trajectory of my life in numerous ways, such as choosing an easy path due to fear of failure, and not really fully pursuing what had been my dreams. I lived to party, mostly. I lived for the weekend. Probably the biggest evidence that it was a problem is that I got more than one woman pregnant who chose to abort, and I can't help but think that was in part because I was the would-be father, and there was little evidence I would be good at it. I was on a joy-ride, seeking pleasure and adventure at every opportunity. I was pretty selfish, really.

But what's done is done. I can't really say I have deep regrets. Occasional pangs of guilt, no doubt. Truth be told, it was a hell of a ride, and until I became depressed (situational and alcohol-induced) I didn't perceive it as a problem.

The biggest change for me was learning how to have fun without it. And I've done that. In fact, I can say I'm having as much fun as I ever did. The main difference is I'm not taking the risks I used to, I'm not seeking a rush, whether from adrenaline or acid. I no longer confuse fun with excitement. I'm walking the middle path.

And I went back to college and started a new career - in my mid-50's. If I can do it anyone can. There is a better way to live, and the younger you shift gears the healthier and happier you are likely to become.

harriet11

I've been drinking for a very long time, but I can't really say that I feel I've wasted my life . It is what it is and it's who I am. I had anxiety and depression anyway and if I hadn't been drinking I would have been pretty miserable anyway and always found it hard to cope with life before drinking. In some ways whilst it was problem in that I often had a hangover, in some ways it gave me pleasure in life that I wouldn't have otherwise had. I managed two years of sobriety in my early 40's with the help of AA. I was miserable and unhappy, well down right depressed really. There were times of feeling empty, like I was disappearing or losing whoever I was, I felt like I was in outer space and floating around and coming apart into nothingness. So, I started drinking again. The pleasure may be fairly short lived but it seemed better than nothing. But that was before I went on Prozac which has changed my life quite a lot, though it's taken years for it to slowly do that. Now I feel I can look forward to some quality of life while sober. Besides I'm simply too old to carry on doing what I'm doing, especially as the binges are getting longer and aren't really so enjoyable anyway. I don't bounce back like I used to it'll probably take me months to have some energy after the last roller coaster.

I'm looking forward now to getting on with my arts and crafts and seeing my Grandchildren.

Auchieshuggle

You sound like you basically had a very, very long party! I don't wish to trivialise your addiction or the suffering you experienced, but it sounds like you may have had days when you got stoned or took acid instead of consistently getting pissed.

I had the odd joint, but cannabis made me anxious. If I took a few blasts from a spliff when I was sober I would just panic and drink as much as I could, as quickly as I could to sedate myself.

I think mixing drugs is bad for the mind, but might actually give one's organs some respite, e.g. a few days getting stoned is less taxing on the liver than a two day bender.

With me it was twenty years of drink, day after day, with perhaps one day a week in which I lay shaking in my bed or perhaps had a couple of beers to take the edge of it.

I can sympathise with your predicament to a large extent. As I have previously stated I suffer from an anxiety condition, and without alcohol life can be trying as it is. With alcohol I get a few hours of respite followed by many more of absolute hell, though.

If you had children did you not take a break from alcohol, if that isn't a personal question?

RecklessDrunk

My drinking was always problematic. I remember really falling in love with the drink at 14 years old after only a 6 pack of bud. I threw up from said 6 pack.

I knew recovery meant a life without alcohol and no way was that going to happen. On the nights before I had to do something the next day I would drink with sleeping pills because there was no way to simply just put a drink down. This went on until I was 41 years old and my drinkin and druggin really landed me in hot water. I had those few I'm never drinking again hangovers along the way but no real serious attempts.

Auchieshuggle

Good for you, pal! I hope you stick to it. How long have you been sober? Have you noticed any physical and mental benefits? I ask because you sound a bit like me, both in terms of your age and drinking history, and I'm on day four.

I have stopped before and reaped the benefits - weight loss, more energy, financially better off, better relationships - only to throw it all away after a few months.

Callas

Zerothehero and harriet very good posts thank you. Your stories sound very much like mine. I do not feel that I “wasted” my life. I had a jolly good time drinking and partying. The time however has come for that part to end. Now I am doing something else.

Tetrax

All my adult life (I'm 34), pretty much from the second I got to university at 18. Unfortunately I got addicted before I made anything of myself, which puts me in a tricky spot right now. Starting life over, basically as a teenager but not looking like one.

harriet11

Yes I did. When the children were very young - about 4months old and 3 years old, I became a single parent. I made it a rule never to drink in the house on my own. Sometimes on a weekend I'd go over to my parents and we'd sleep there. I'd stay up and have a drink with my Dad but in those days I didn't drink as much anyway, I'd be ok the next day (I could always drink a lot before it affected me) so it didn't really interfere with anything. Luckily, the boys turned out ok and neither appear to have a drink problem (I think I'd have noticed by now if they had as they're well into their 30's).

ciowa

Ive drank off and on for most if my adult life but the last 3 years my drinking got worse each year as i binged drank for days.

I also dont view my drinking life as a waste. I drank hard some nights and lightly in others with periods of no drinking (avg about 3 nights a month for years)

Most of my life experiences, knowledge and skills were developed during my drinking life so to declare that wasted time means id have to go back 1-18 yo as the only worthy time in my life and to only offer advise or insights i learned as a sober kid and teenager.

Gottalife

How much and how long isn't as important as what alcohol does. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. It progressed very quickly in me. The loss of control and choice was there right at the start. Over a period of about 9 years drinking insanely and for the last part being unable to eat, I reached a point of brain damaged insanity and malnutrition that put me squarely in end stage alcoholism with no more than six months to live at the age of 22. By this point no job, no money, no family, no friends, no roof over my head, regular hallucinations and loss of control of bodily functions.

I knew these other drinkers, three older guys who drank the equivalent to about 6 pints of English beer every day for years and years. They had jobs, they had wives, they had a routine, they had no alcoholic dramas. On a weekly basis they probably drank more than I did, but it gave them no problems of the kind I had. I really wanted to be like them, but I lacked the control. Even though they were not alcoholic, 30 years of drinking at that rate caused them to die a few years ahead of their time. I am glad I didn't get my wish or I wouldn't be here now.