SC, very normal struggle for everyone here with similar stories to yours. Just divorce your husband and move on. Find a good man and be happy..
Here's a list of questions I wrote up for any woman I might meet and would maybe like ask out.. Feel free to use it.
1) Are you nuts?
2) Are you currrently addicted to anything?
3) Have you ever been Arrested?
4) Have you ever been diagnosed with a personality disorder?
(and a recent optional addition)
5) Do you do chores?