Many changes happening right now. I'm expecting to hear back from a potential employer out of state about a job offer. I'm just waiting for a salary number before I know whether or not it is feasible to sell my house and move. Doing a ton of research to find out where to look for housing, what kind of options are available to me, can I sell my house?? No easier way to get distance from a disaster alcoholic ex husband than to move two states away, I guess.
Not that it matters at this point. XAH hasn't made a move to see or talk to DD8 in any real capacity, nor have his parents or sister. He called me one time to try to make me feel sorry for him and yell about his rights, when I told him that the visitation supervisors (his parents) and I must be on speaking terms and to let me know when we could sit down again and talk about expectations regarding resuming supervised visitations (advised by my lawyer, to clarify sleeping arrangements and what "supervised" means), he disappeared again. I'm assuming that his parents are stonewalling - they are as crazy and irrational as he is. Meanwhile, he's "camping," aka "living out of his car," aka homeless and refusing traditional transitional housing options, which is insane to me, but here we are. First snow of the season is predicted tomorrow.
I shouldn't be shocked that it was this easy for his entire family to ghost DD8, but I am. She has so many questions about it, and she's angry and doesn't totally understand. She wants to see him and doesn't get that he isn't asking to see her. It sucks and I hate this for her.
She is piqued by the idea of moving. My partner is also excited about the idea and is job hunting there as well in case I get good news. We live in a pocket of progress in a very depressed state and are excited about the possibility to be in a more active area, with more culture, more jobs, more restaurants and museums and outdoor activities. I'm not sure that DD8 gets the full picture of what it would mean for us to move, but I am confident that it wouldn't be a bad thing for her.
I am also deeply, deeply motivated to get some distance between me and this morass of dysfunction. Most of my peers moved away after school, and those of us that didn't were stuck here thanks to complicated family and custody stuff. For those of us that stayed, there is lots of recreational drug and alcohol use and other means of escapism - which helped obscure the depth and breadth of XAH's addiction to me for a long time because it was kind of "normal." Even among my friends here, who are awesome and who I will miss, there is a generational feeling that the grass is truly greener somewhere else, and after living my whole life in a five mile radius, I want to find out. So I don't know, I'm waiting and dreaming about living other lives a little bit, and if I can make the money make sense we're going to do it.