Hi everyone.

I was here a while back. (Hi Aprils 2018!) Had awesome sober time. Loved the support I received here. In fact I’ve read every day and feel like I know many of you... and I’m missing some members who haven’t posted in a while.

after a few months, I started drinking in moderation. i counted and gave myself a limit. I wanted to appear normal. I also wouldn’t drink for weeks at a time. and then there were a couple of moments where I had too many and it hurt tallying them up.

but I’m tired of counting. I’m tired of obsessing if I’m “doing good”... it’s all just a headache and I thinks it’s just easier to cut the shackles.

and I know it’s only a matter of time....

plan?
continue to read here.
join Octobers
participate in weekenders
start my psych visits again
diet/exercise
daily meditation
gratitude journal
get support from husband
not pick up again

i feel such relief posting... and yet selfish too.
my last day 1

thanks for reading.