There was a new woman at IOP last night that talked about her inability to leave the obsession alone. She was desperate for ideas about how to do that. Another woman gave a long answer that was centered on how it happened to her rather than how the new woman could do it. Second woman experienced her bottom and found God. I think not helpful to new woman who continues to find new bottoms. Another guy talked about being more aware this time of when he begins to slip in his commitment to sobriety. Again, probably not helpful to new woman who doesn't have sobriety yet. But she does have a willingness to do something and that's a start. I feel for her. Addiction sucks, man.
I asked the guy who is going to pay attention to his own behaviors what he is going to do about it. Because my experience has been that once I started displaying those warning signs, I was already gone. (broster,) I changed that from current to past tense with deference to my AVRT education. And that leads me to the simple and forgone conclusion that any thought or feeling that supports the idea of future drinking is the addictive voice speaking on behalf of the beast. Which I knew, because it's oft-repeated and I get that. Where I think I've fallen short is in not absorbing the gravity of those beastly inclinations. I know the proper response upon recognition is casual dismissiveness, but out of laziness (AV) or denial (AV), I haven't had the proper perspective that this is life and death stuff.
Am I making sense? Hope so, cuz I gotta get myself to work!