You sound good O. Yeah the whole feeling things again is strange huh? The emotional thawing out which in my experience continues deepening over time.. reminds me of some music video I saw at some point where a girl frozen in ice starts melting as the sun comes up.
I've been busy which is good but mostly still just having a hard time with work. It's basically a never ending roller coaster ride and I'm not having fun. I've been actively trying and failing for almost a full year now and my ego tells me what's the point, you're probably already a joke in everyone else's eyes.. Truthfully sometimes I want to give up on it, but I'm not going to. Easy to find parallels with sobriety and how hard/impossible it seemed at first.. but if it's something worth "fighting for" I'm not going to quit. Which again is much easier to do after knowing my only real enemy is my own inner critic/AV/ego, whatever you want to call it. And that I can carry on undeterred by not engaging with those thoughts.