Hope you're doing well August,
Talking meds here can bring about a fear reaction and I understand that.
but...I also don't believe that we're meant to suffer just because of our history.
I resisted pain relief meds for a long time - I nearly lost my partner over it because I was a miserable SOB to live with.
So I was very open and honest with my doctor and we tried meds (along with a raft of other things I'm to try first like exercise and physio).
If all else fails, I'm on a low dose pain killer that til recently was available OTC.
Max dose is 8 a day - I've never taken more than 2 on any given day.
Never been high, never wanted to take more. If I did have that reaction, I'd do what you're doing, August.
As far as I can see, as a fellow traveller, you're doing everything right. August
D