Venuscat... the two weeks before rome were torturous because I had constant urges and had to fight them off every single day. I know what it's like on the other side of the hill of sobriety it is lovely. But the journey there is hell for some reason. I bought a bike joined a gym paid into a program on sobriety went to a sober conference read new books on sobriety journaling everyday I have a sober plan occasionally attend a smart meeting. And still there is the urge looming over my shoulder like the grim reaper.... I tried to justify to myself that the binge drinking is very rarely and I'm not a daily drinker. And what is the difference? Anyway I'm just rambling because I'm frustrated with myself.