fini, I also love the idea of "kicking yourself some room" not just in AA but life in general--thank you for the thought.
O, funny you should mention feelings. I have been anhedonic so long I had come to terms with it mostly, but yesterday watching the sunrise I was moved first to tears by its beauty, and how everything--weeds, dying leaves, fading flowers were just so perfect in their progress.
Then I thought about other things that have faded or been lost in my life and cried tears of sadness which became peace as I just let them flow and felt the hurt fully until they naturally passed instead of me trying to stop or mitigate them.
And then I thought "maybe there are feelings in me, and I'm not drained and empty forever". This was comforting after feeling flat for so very long.
I don't know, but maybe I am finally hearing my internal "right voice".
Whatcha all think?