Originally Posted by KTB5000

Day 2 started out rough...The house still looks like a crime scene (robbery, that is) after my binge..

I watched a little tidying up with Marie Kondo and was motivated to tackle 'Clothes' -- I did the laundry and folding slowly and purposefully....which felt right...

Right before my relapse, I was at another pinnacle of panic and overwhelmed state.. Where I'm trying to do-everything and be - everything for everybody...
But in constant acceleration mode and moving way to fast on automatic setting...then I started drinking waayyyyy to much caffeine...[Boom!]

I realized I'm just not in a stage of life anymore where I 'want' to do this...

I want to hold on to peace and active self-awareness this time Venuscat.. Thank you for asking how my day was. I hope yours is well and I missed all your thoughtful posts. Hiya Dee! Runner, HW, WL, RAL, Quit, Red, Midton, Daria, Sober369, ....glad to be in these sober seats with you ALL of COS2019...

Like Sober369 was saying, I NEED to find activities like Meditation, podcasts etc to 'slow' me down... - and the anxiety ensued until I blow-up...

PLAN: Going to go to a meeting this week, which is Totally out of my comfort fortress. I swore it off in the past bc of sever social anxiety, social awkardness, and trust issues,....But, I swear if this last relapse ain't been one of those 'spiritual tugs on the shoulder' and/or 'aha moments' I dont what is....

So my plan --despite my deep-seated fears-- is to attend, (maybe) a couple days, if and only if, to practice... E x p r e s s I n g my f e e l I n g s(arghhhhhh!!) ..To a relatively small room of strangers, and deal with the backlash that I may feel (or not feel) -- for the sake of personal growth.....and repeat just that if nothing else...
(Committing to this for 1 month only?)

Wish me luck 😩