Originally Posted by Thlayli

Love this idea and hope I can keep it in my mind. I'm realizing, and other's are commenting, how much more I'm myself when AH is in active relapse and now that he's gone. It's because I'm not revolving my life around making sure he doesn't relapse. My therapist even mentioned that I will probably have to find a way to redirect my energy since I was so focused on him.

My changes so far are saying "yes" to more theatre - although I may have overdone it with dedicating time to 2 shows in 3 months. I've also been accepting invitations from friends more. I used to hover waiting/hoping that AH would do something with us...invariably he wouldn't so I don't know how I justified all the waiting.

I'm struggling missing him sometimes now. It would help to have no contact but that's impossible with a child. Any glimpse of the non-using him still gives me a hope that I don't truly want. I'm better and stronger without him.