I'm sure you are right on that one. They don't actually have much to give anyone and certainly not much to give themselves. While the rest of the world might focus on love and life and joy and family and children (or being a pilot!) that's certainly not the focus of an addict.
Addiction is so very selfish. But, ultimately that is their choice and their path, such as it is.
It's probably still got quite a sting to it. It takes time (as you well know). Eventually things will start to come right again. Eventually you will spend less time in that fantasy and more realization will come and it won't be so painful. Unfortunately he is not that guy.
Do you have any other support, Al-anon, Nar-anon - any family or friends that understand at all?