Hi DriGuy, The above part is what I’m struggling with. I know I can quit for a set period of time without much of a struggle (3 months, 6 mos, even 9 mos). But then after that period goes by I start getting the comments from people like “why don’t you just have a beer at this BBQ” or “have a glass of champagne at the wedding.” So then after 6 months I go back and have one drink and feel “normal” (not like some alcoholic who has to drink club soda all the time). I figure if I’m disciplined enough to not drink for 6 months, I’ll be disciplined enough to have 1 glass of champagne at a wedding.

Even my aforementioned wife - who hates my binge drinking - says to me during this time period things like “it would be nice to have a glass of wine with you at dinner.”

The problem arises that after a few sessions of drinking only 1 drink and being fine, at some point I will try to go further. Maybe I’ll have 2 glasses of wine or a cocktail and a glass of woe. And then in some of those instances, my brain will short-circuit and all control goes out the window. I can’t predict when and where it will happen but I just won’t care anymore and will start pounding drinks until I pass out (sometimes passing out in a public place and needing the wife or a friend to help me home). Or I get confused out in public and find myself wandering around aimlessly with the wife texting me “where the heck are you?” (Sadly, my wife and sister once had to go on a search party checking bars, hospitals, and the police station looking for me.) But it’s during these episodes when something horrible can happen.

As I type this out it seems so obvious that I can’t drink at all because even though the risk of a catastrophic event is low, it’s still there and I’d be crazy to play with fire with a wife, son, and a good job. And the progression of events is really the “revolving door” that ColoradoRocky talked about earlier.

Anyway thanks for your post. I still have to come to terms with the fact that I need to give it up for good.