dpac, you make quite a few observations that are like this one:
I'm not sure if I'm having idealistic thoughts of drinking per se, maybe more anger at the fact that I know I can't have it.
Yeah, it seems to be in situations where either I used to drink, or feel like I should be able to.
There is definitely a little FOMO involved in quitting drinking, but I never looked at it as, "I can't." I looked at it as, "I choose not to any more." Because, of course I Can. I just know it's a really bad idea. So why would doing something (or in this case NOT doing something) that I know is a bad idea cause me to be angry? It is of my own Free Will that I choose not to drink. Yours too. I didn't go through that grief, but I know others do. I was super glad to be done with it. I used my last Free Pass with alcohol and I'm not getting any further tickets for that ride.
When you get a spare few minutes, I think you'd like reading through this thread in the
Secular Exploration of Different Recovery Methods subforum:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-scheeren.html ("The Freedom Model for Addictions" by Slate and Scheeren)
...and there's a Part 2:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...tions-2-a.html (The Freedom Model for Addictions - 2)
The author of the Freedom Method makes an appearance and writes a few posts in there, too. It's interesting and I think if you could flip your perspective it might help.
In therapy they call it "reframing."