Mags1

Welcome to the Weekenders

Sober Road of Recovery through another weekend? Sounds good I think.



I must have dreamed of a sober weekend forever....for that matter a sober week too!

Making that final ‘gut-wrenching how will I live without a drink’ decision to stop drinking, I mean really stop, not a pretend stop, which, by the way I did umpteen times, kidding myself, usually to appease my family or my guilt.

But I found staying stopped harder than I thought and realised I needed help. Too proud or scared to seek a doctor I surfed the internet and found SR Sober Recovery.

Staying sober was my aim, I didn’t understand about Recovery.



Being sober doing exactly the same as I did when I was a drunk...but without the drink. I realised that wasn’t Recovery , it was staying sober.

As the weeks and months moved on I found peace (first time ever) in my Recovery life. I found happiness (the first real sober happiness) and fulfilment in my life.



Recovery isn’t easy but travelling down the Sober Recovery Road is much much easier than the drunken chasm I’d been in most of my adult life.

If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)

PhoenixJ

Thanks Mags. I used to dismiss the 'cliche' that veteran meeting old timer's would say

PhoenixJ

my laptop is weird,I did not click on reply.

the old timer's who would say 'my worst day sober is much, much better than my best day drunk.'

Now I surely do get it. The ability to connect, problem solve, deal with crappy situations and perhaps just as importantly- to get help when I need it...GP for depression, recovery counsellor if really stressed , SR for daily top up of sanity.

The sober ride does not have the hair raising highs, but it also has not life threatening lows. I continue to choose a sober life.

Red78

Recovery vs simply not drinking.. This is something I'm starting to understand.. Although I will avoid situations that have alcohol, it doesn't mean that I am in or know what recovery is..
This will be the aim for me over this weekend - what is recovery for me and what are the starting steps for me..

I have done a number of sober weekends now so I know I can do this one even though I'm only back on day 5..

Mags1

Hi Red, welcome to Weekenders

Red78

Thanks mags..

STDragon

Hi Red,

Yes, more than simply stop drinking. We need to find outlets, be it the gym, books, art, music or whatever. Use these things as distraction in the early days but work on building a new life. I simply stayed sober for the first few months but then I did something that interested me and before I knew it, I became part of a whole new community of people.

And instead of spending my time counting cans, planning my booze inventory and drinking. I'm busy making plans and working toward future endeavors.

The sober life is treating me very well and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

FitNonDrinker

This is going to be my FIRST sober weekend in years....

I posted here initially in 2012. So now I limp back in, determined to NOT DRINK and be present for my family. It's been 4 days now and my head is so clear, and I feel GOOD mentally and physically.

I know it will be rough but I'm determined. And I have this wonderful place and all of you for support. Thanks to all and lets kick this weekends butt!!!

Tolkny

Well done and thanks for sharing part of your story FitDrinker.

I shall not repeat what I have already posted other than to say I am recently getting back to abstinence from compulsive over eating and have managed two days now.

I hope you post some more of your experiences with the new beginnings in sobriety.

Andrew from Essex, England, UK 1.13pm London Time Thursday 29th August 2019

Tetrax

So yeah I basically bombarded myself with recovery stuff for the first three months, now I do less (though I am on here multiple times a day), but can focus more on previously dormant passions. I still go to AA at least once a week and SMART occasionally and there is a new local informal group for people with 2+ months recovery which I've just seen, which is good, because I'm in that tricky place of having got through the worst of it but trying to build a new life, almost from scratch.

But hey, one day (or weekend) at a time...

dpac414

Hi all, fell off the thread last week but I'm still here and still truckin'.

Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm not working on recovery and simply just not drinking. It's definitely a very good topic and one that I think always kind of needs to be at the forefront. I think it's smart to consistently reassess what's going on and how you feel and what's working vs. what's not.

Just my two cents anyway. Onwards to the weekend!

PhoenixJ

good shares here

welcome and support to all

andyh

thanks Mags.

Sartre was right, Hell is other people, or at least workmates. today's a good day for me to carry water, chop wood & not give a monkey's about other people's monkeys.

biminiblue

Andy, I feel ya. Other people - if only they had mute buttons like my remote control.

I've found it much easier to look at them as crazy monkeys since I've been spending so much time at the gorilla exhibit. Not only watching the gorillas and how they give each other space, but watching the behaviors from people over and over has been really instructive for me. I've learned to keep my mouth shut. I've learned that my internal day goes better if I don't engage with the zoo visitors or with random thoughts (judgements) about them.

Chop wood carry water. Yup.

And sit on opposite ends of the room whenever possible, like Kwame and the missus ~

In and (?)shotgun



Of course - as soon as something bothers me about someone, I'm destined to do that same annoying thing in fairly short order.

MLD51

I'm in, thanks, Mags.

Yeah, did lots of "pretend quits." I'd swear off drinking after a particularly bad hangover or after I had done yet another stupid, embarrassing, or illegal thing. But deep down, I wasn't doing anything different, so I always went back out within days.

For me, recovery began when I truly surrendered, and accepted deep down that I am an alcoholic and can't ever drink safely again. I got really honest with myself in a moment of pure clarity, and knew that I needed real help. So I called a sober friend and poured my heart out. He recommended an outpatient treatment program to me, and took me to an AA meeting. I found SR after about a month, too. I had to change a lot of my daily routines and habits, and I had to stop hanging out with some people. I dedicated pretty much every waking moment to working on sobriety, working the steps, going to meetings and treatment sessions for about 6 months. It was a huge change. I also vowed to be completely honest with myself and everyone else. That might have been the single biggest change I made, and it's KEY for recovery, IMO. I mean, think about it. If you were like me and lied to yourself and others about your drinking (among other things), just the act of becoming honest is absolutely imperative if you are going to be successful. Working the steps fully requires unflinching honesty. One of the things that made me feel THE WORST about myself was all the lying. There was no way I was going to ever get to a place of serenity if I continued to lie. It's just impossible for me. So continued recovery for me means continuing honesty, and a constant eye on behaviors that might be "old" behaviors that were keeping me stuck. I don't go to a lot of meetings these days. I don't read a lot of recovery material like I used to. But I still work my program of AA every day, because the steps, for me, are a roadmap to a better life.

Callas

I am slowly starting to understand the difference between sobriety and recovery. The more comfortable I feel in sobriety the more I feel confident to put recovery plans together and work hard at it. Thank you SR.

Della1968

In!

Mags1

Bim Congratulations on Shotgun

biminiblue

Late > Never

saoutchik

IN! Later than usual (busy today)

Welcome to Weekenders Red78 and Tolkny!

Thanks for another great OP Mags!

Understanding the difference between stopping drinking and recovery was the difference betwen success and failure for me and therefore probablylife and death. I had no difficulty in accepting I was an alcoholic - I was 54 and drinking half a bottle of Famous Grouse every working weekday and more at the weekend made things obvious on that score. Knowing that did not make the cravings go away and more importantly they did not make the cravings go away after 49 days, my longest pre SR sober stint. I don't believe too many people could have held out for much longer given my prior consumption.

I had to do something to take the cravings away and at the risk of boring people who have read this umpteen times before my solution was to get up at zero dark thirty and walk/ jog for an hour before going to work. I would fall into bed in the evening after only having the lightest of cravings. It felt like a miracle (and i'm not religious) given my previous failures. It took determination some winter mornings but was still much easier than doing a days work with a hangover.

Find what it is that works for you and commit to it. You won't regret it.