Disgusted at Myself
This is my first post. I am not an “alcoholic” as I think I understand that term because I don’t drink daily or even weekly. But I am a problem drinker who has a problem with alcohol and binging. When I do decide to drink, I don’t know my limits and start doing stupid and embarrassing stuff.
Well, last night I had a relapse and got really drunk at a block party and embarrassed myself and my wife. Then we got in a fight back at the house and I said some mean things to her. It appears she’s thinking of leaving me. We have a 2 year old son who I love and adore and I can’t believe I might lose it all over booze.
I have struggled so much to try to do “moderate drinking” - just an old-fashioned or glass of wine. Yet every once in a while I’m doing this “moderate drinking” I just get going and don’t stop. This happened last year at a wedding and I quit alcohol for 7 months afterwards. Then returned to it thinking I would just drink moderately. How could 1 or 2 beers hurt?
I realize I need to quit completely. At this point, I don’t even know if I’ll be still married in a year. God help me.