Sleeper...…
I think it is an excellent idea to get out of his way and give him space to get into real sobriety, if he is of a mind to.
I will point out that, alcoholism is a life long condition, and one cannot ever, safely, take another drink, again. A person has to be willing to make a pivotal change in their life and live by the principles of sobriety for the rest of their life...like the principles of AA. The program needs to be followed rigorously and as their first priority, above all else......The doesn't happen in a flash, either....it takes a lot of time and commitment from the alcoholic….
In these matters...their words mean very little...it is their actions that really count....
In light of your other threads, I notice that you were seeing a counselor...great...I hope that you keep that up...as you need that support for yourself!
Since you are here, and asking for help, I presume....I am going to give you some basic suggestions to get you started. I hope that you don't mind...…
1. the most recommended book on this forum is "Co-dependent No More'...it is an easy read and you can get it on amazon.com....cheaply, if you will get a used one.
2. There is so much to know about alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones.....almost nobody knows this stuff, unless they have had reason to do special study. Knowledge is power.
***You are fortunate, in this respect, as we have a fabulous library of articles on this...0ver 100 articles! Enough for you to read every single day! (this library is contained I n the stickies, at the top of the main page....but, since you are new, here I am giving you the following link to those articles.....
3. Continue to read the threads, here on family and friends, any you will get the reality of what it is really like to live with active alcoholism, over the years.....
In particular, read the ones about the members who have children, in their situation. The effects can be profound, on the children. And, one is permanently connected to the alcoholic, even if they divorce, if there are children, involved. It is so hard to protect the children from the alcoholism, even when not living with the alcoholic.
You have spoken, so often, about your desire to help him....which is a logical thing for a young wife to say....but, here is the STICKY WICKET-----
and, I consider it the heart of the matter------The rules that we are taught, about relationships, as we are growing up...by our families, and out schools, and churches, and society, in general, are all turned topsy-turvy by two things...alcoholism (any addiction) and abuse. The rules, in these situations are the opposite of what one would ordinarily assume.
As was said many times, in your other threads....you are not the person who can help him.
But, it is your responsibility to help your own self...you deserve happiness in marriage and life....
Yes, I know that you love him...and, you don't have to stop loving him....but, you may have to love him from afar, because his disease can destroy you, if you let it.....
Sleeper...here is that link to the library that I promised you-----
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)