Iroha,
Thanks for sharing with us. I too am a new member here. I only have a couple of posts under my belt, but I have done plenty of reading on this site. Believe when I tell you, your words probably sound very familiar to many. I can just hear myself saying.....Tomorrow over and over again. Then of course tomorrow comes and I somehow justify my destructive behavior. I can relate to everything you are saying and I think we have made the right choice by coming here to discuss our problems. So far, as stupid as this sounds, the hardest part for me has been being honest with myself about actually having a problem. Now that I'm not deluding myself anymore, I can actually talk to others about my problems. At least I feel like I'm on the right path now. I think you are as well.
Stay strong............