Hi and welcome GratefulNY
For years I didn't think I could live without some kind of addiction crutch.
The problem, as I see it now, was I was trying to fill the void within me with stuff - be it drugs booze, food, shopping - but nothing worked - my void was unfillable.
Once I started working on not filling, but
healing that void tho - everything changed.
I don't believe it's ever too late to start working on that
D