Welcome to SoberRecovery, Iroha!
Thank you for sharing your story. It's important that we hear how it was, what happened/what's happening, as well as the story of how it is now. With some willingness and awareness and work, you can have a "how it is now" story. Keep the faith... and keep reading. I think you'll find a lot of folks here understand right where you are.
Personally, I really identified with the kind of isolation you related. The last six months of my active addiction were spent in a bedroom alone. I had a caregiver, as I wasn't able to take care of even my basic needs any longer. The one thing that I won't ever forget was the number of beautiful summer days I let go by. The most I saw of the sun and the life beyond my room was under the 4" that I would allow my caregiver to raise my blinds.
Hang in there, keep reading, and please try to keep an open mind. That, along with honesty and willingness, is something indispensible to recovery. There is another way.
Peace & Love,
Sug