Originally Posted by
trailmix 
I'm sure that in the 35 years NewLife was married to her XAH there was a lot of compassion shown.
Above all, compassion for yourself is key in these relationships though.
I guess anyone quitting can call it "rock bottom" there are times people quit that are better or worse depending on where they are at with their addiction. But rock bottom is not a real place. There is no measurement of it.
For one person it might be a realization that they are slipping in their duty to their family. For another it might be living on the street, penniless.
So yes - both of those are "rock bottom" I suppose, if it must have a name.
I also think it's entirely appropriate to use the Friends and Family forum to vent a bit, to people who have been there and understand when perhaps no one else in their lives do or they don't want to burden family members who are also affected.
Thank you trailmix. I shouldn't have said "these people," so I apologize for that. I was just....angry. I seem to be able to handle the impact on my life but not on my kids' lives.
Yes, I did have compassion for many, many years. I defended him to his employers, to his family, to my family, to neighbors, etc. I left only when I was so emotionally and physically drained I feared for my survival.