Hi everyone!
I was at my home-group earlier today and remembered I had an account on this website when I was trying to get sober in 2012. I figured out my username and wanted to see if I had written anything, and here it is. My diary of desperation. It is a heartbreaking few posts and I want to give the old me a hug and tell her it will be okay.
I don't know if anyone will see this, but I want to thank everyone who helped me that day and I'm so sorry that I didn't stay in touch on this site. I am happy to report that I have been sober since that day and I'm coming up on 7 years next month. If it weren't for this website at that time, I don't know if I couldn't have done it. You all gave me the support I couldn't get from myself, family, or the few friends I had left. It has not been easy, but it is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I was fired from that job that I was worried about. FYI that job was terrible anyway! I have now been at a wonderful job for 6+ years after a very humbling few months of dog walking in the winter after rehab.
After detox, my father told me I could not go to rehab, that I had to go back to work -I went to rehab anyway. He came around eventually, and our bond strengthened over the years until he passed away this May. I got to be sober for that and didn't even think of taking a drink. I am in a healthy, happy relationship with a wonderful man, and I go to AA meetings 4-5 times a week. It has not been easy, the first couple of years were extremely hard for me (mostly because I didn't want to do the work), but it has been a beautiful journey. I never thought I could stop drinking, but it happened one day at a time. I am not terminally unique and thank God for that!
Thank you again to everyone who helped me here. I am so so grateful for all of you. I hope you are well and sober. God bless!!!!!
