Cosima, I think the word 'forced' wasn't the best. I guess I'm recognizing that I am controlling....or can be. So I think its more about forcing myself to let go. I think the hardest parenting, the times I say NO and draw that line between what we both 'want' vs what we both 'need', is the best parenting. Like what O is having to do with Eldest. Clearly, or at least it seems clear to me, that would be unhealthy for both. It's not the easiest path short term for either, but will probably yield the best long term results for both.
O you are protecting yourself. But you are also doing what is best for your daughter...I really believe that.
And I guess at the end of the day we are all different people, parents and children. We do what is best for us. If keeping our kids very close as adults works, and by close I mean still parenting them, then that's great. I hope my daughter can barely stand to hear from me in her 20's. Not in a hateful way, but in a 'seriously Mom I'm busy' way.
And if I'm ******* up my life, I hope she has the strength to walk away and let me.