She denied getting rid of the vodka and pills. I guess she hid the vodka in a different container so my story fell apart.
I was taking the trash out last Friday and open up the can and found an extra little bag in the can. I take out all the trash so I thought that was odd. She had thrown out a thing of pills and a vodka bottle unopened. not one i had bought.
wait. you said you found the vodka and the pills last Friday, with your own eyes, in the trash. but she says she didn't put them there? how can your "story" fall apart if you saw them???? how else did they get there?
here at SR we are seasoned veterans when it comes to addiction, lies, deceit and turmoil. many of us have been on both sides. i myself am a former addict, when in my previous marriage i was the cheater, and am now with another recovered addict. so i speak from my heart and from experience that your wife is spinning lies right and left, and you are buying it all hook, line and sinker. she has you so snowed that you are willing to believe what she SAYS over what you actually know and have seen.
she has been very involved with not one but two other men (at least) over the past year. she has a real life "BF" and an online "BF". if the online "sponsor" was worth his salt and even as an opposite sex sponsor, none of these shenanigans would be happening. my AA sponsor WAS a man - we talked at length before agreeing to have him sponsor me THROUGH THE STEPS about the possible pitfalls and made sure that i didn't just run to him for a shoulder to cry, no sharing of personal stuff that was not relevant to whatever step i was on. we did not "hang out" - the few times we met at his apartment was to have a safe quiet space for me to share my 5th step.
big huge red flag that she will not share in a F2F meeting with other women, but will tell all to some weird creepy guy online. and that in the space of less than 90 days she has decided she is IN LOVE with this online person. who may or may not reside in the UK.
i'm curious how you have "heard" this online person speak? how you know what he says? there is so much of this tale that is messed up.