I have a theory that many of us, particularly women, are hardwired to nurture. An addict in many ways becomes infantilized as their willingness to do anything related to adult responsibilities or behavior erodes.
So what’s left is basically a child in an adult’s body. They cry and tantrum when their toys are taken away, and because we are hardwired to respond to a child in distress, it’s extremely hard not to jump in and give them what they want.
He is an adult. He can make choices to get his own life and his own toys.
Wishing you peace of mind.