I've been trying to remember what got me out of the rut of selfpity last time. I was sorry for myself because I couldn't see my kids. Forget the reason I couldn't see them. I wanted so much things to be different. Booze was my only buddy. Rehab was in the end the only thing that stopped the downward spiral. I gave away everything. Let go of the half built house I was living in/trying to finish. Penniless and posession less I went to rehab for 6 months followed by months of learning to live again. Another binge bust followed and then... Sobriety that's now lasted almost 16 years. ( Surprisingly I've got my own house now and no financial worries. I'm healthy for a 60 year old ex-train-wreck, happy, kids are around. Content. Relaxed.) I think in the end I had to value life more than anything and realise that if I ever had a chance to fix things I had to fix myself first. And that, in my situation, meant renunciation and rehab.