What is incomprehensible behavior to us is merely out-of-control alcoholism to the active alcoholic. It won't ever make sense to those of us who have never struggled with the disorder.
It breaks apart marriages, families, scars children who become scarred adults (ask me how I know), left unchecked--it kills people.
Believe me, I wish I had some magic words for you that you could tell your wife to get her to "see the light", but there is no such thing.
You tell her what it is doing to you and the children, and her likely response is that you are "trying to control" her...which you are. Most of us have tried to control the drinking of the alcoholics we love. We hate what it does to them and we hate what it does to us.
For me, there was never any amount of arguing, pleading, tears, or threats that made one whit of difference in the drinking behavior of the alcoholics in my world.
The only choice that my late husband and I and the rest of the family had with my stepson was to let him go--to give up our efforts at controlling him--to give up our front-row seat to his alcoholic/addict 3-ring circus. We were accused of abandoning him in his need, but our presence made absolutely no difference in his behavior, and it was destroying us.
It breaks my heart that any family has to go through this--to make what, to those on the outside, seem like heartless decisions. But they don't understand and never will unless they have lived it.
You and your children deserve a happy, peaceful life. Accepting that as the truth is often the first step for us.