Briansy -
On July 18, you wrote:
"Being at home in Ireland and not drinking is not even an issue anymore as it's been so well established now that I don't drink that I just never would - I couldn't."
On July 29, you wrote:
"Well, I drank yesterday." and
"But the reality is that, for me, nothing external was going to solve my problems, it had to come from within."
You don't seem to relapse, because that implies you have stayed sober.
I certainly didn't want to be a member of AA, but I have given it more than 5 weeks, I have worked the steps with my sponsor and I have done service work, 12th step work, etc.
It became my life.
And I haven't had a drink or a drug since I joined it.
Your own thinking doesn't appear to achieving favorable results, because you always drink again.
If I were you, I wouldn't trust my own thinking.
I have been sober a pretty long time, and I don't even trust my own thinking on some matters.
So I pray for God's guidance and ask other people, whose opinions i value, for advice.
You sound like someone who hasn't decided to give up alcohol.
I wish that you would and that you would also choose and follow a plan of recovery.
You may have better results.