Hi everyone,

The drama continues and I have decisions to make. I have been adamant that I would stand by her as she worked her recovery, stopped lying, came clean, didn’t endanger the kids, stopped doing wrong things behind my back. I don’t believe that is asking too much.

Another relapse, drove drunk with our youngest, violated the terms of her probation (didn’t get caught), the kids watched her over 3 days drunk fest. I took the kids one night to stay at a hotel. By 9 the next morning she was passed out drunk. Vomited in her sleep, vomited on the floor of the bedroom and 5 more times throughout the day. The house reeked of vodka from her exhalations. She even hid booze in one of the kids rooms.

All of this after paying for weekly therapy, monthly psychiatrist specializing in addiction, monthly addiction specialist a town over. Plus twice weekly AA meetings.

Found a secret Facebook account on her phone while she was passed out with all of the history deleted. No idea what she was doing, but the logins were every couple of days for over a year. I’m at my wits end with this person that looks my in the eye and tells me she loves me and lies her ass off.

I’m suspecting she has absolutely no conscience. Told her as much, probably shouldn’t have, but betraying me and her children, endangering them..again..wasting money by lying to specialists, violating probation etc etc demonstrates a serious lack of conscience. Dammit

Since her relapse she has gotten an AA sponsor, willing to do the steps with her, admitted for the first time (I think) she can never drink again. Etc. etc.

People keep telling me it’s the addiction, but how can anyone tell the difference between alcoholism and antisocial personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder? Is there a difference?

Why are they so egotistical, self centered, lying, conniving, backstabbing assholes even when not drinking. What the hell is it?

Beachn