I am trying very hard to put my emotions aside and see this for what it really is.
I am trying to remind myself that this is still better than normal.
These two statements of yours seem in conflict with each other. You want to see this for what it really is (an alcoholic who is not ready to surrender to his disease) YET you try and remind yourself it’s better than “normal” (denial). You want all of those things he says he’s going to do to be real but reality is showing you something else that maybe your heart is not ready to accept.
I think counseling for you, al-anon and doing as much research as you can on alcoholism.