That is such good news. So glad you feel a bit better, Strugglingto. Now if you can just get completely better and also remind yourself that a month without alcohol is a great achievement, you might be able to allow yourself a little optimism in your life. Sounds like you've just been to hell and back but you don't ever need to go there again. Remind yourself: you did a month. With the help of SR you can do that, and more, again. When I joined SR 5 weeks ago - after a countless number of false starts - I vowed to post everyday even if I didn't have much to say. And although I didn't really believe it would, it's made the difference for me. Truly hope you'll make the same vow.