Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Underneath any addiction can be a lot of shame. Whether that's an addiction to food, heroin or gambling. When you live with shame for years, when you berate yourself constantly it can certainly do a job on your self esteem, so he's probably right that it would be a solid goal.
You probably don't really know why he drinks, it may not even be something he understands yet.
You are powerless over his addiction. I know you know that logically but probably are still struggling with it emotionally? I think that's pretty normal, it's early days and you are really hurt.
It may be best to let him know you would prefer not to discuss it. Say what you mean just don't say it mean? Him discussing it with you at this point probably just causes resentment.
Hang in there.
thank you. I get the say what you mean thing but at this point I feel like he can take his resentments and shove it. I have my own resentments. He’s the one that has to talk about alcohol all the time: drinking it, recovering from it, hiding it, buying it, drinking it, cleaning up after it...he’s all about alcohol. It’s a shame, inside and out. I get it, he says “I have a disease” oh boo freaking hoo, he’s had so much love, chances and support to deal with his “disease”. He just loves alcohol and to drink. Resentments, yeah I have them too. He’s a big fat lying baby who needs his bottle. And he will not take me down with his sinking pathetic “poor me” ship.