I was in a public library yesterday. Typical small town library filled with people coming to use the internet with some help or access other services, or find some company, and many parents (mainly mothers)' groups.
When I went to the toilet, there were two small empty bottles of wine in the bin. It hit me. During the past months, I have often bought small bottles I could carry in my bag and then used the toilet to drink them disposing of them in the bin. This has been done mainly when I was out with other people and I needed to cover my addiction, pretending to be a 'normal' drinker while loading on extra alcohol in secret.
However, I have done this at work (about a dozen of times) lately. Sometimes I was driving back. A line I had never crossed ever was driving and drinking, not even a drop. I found myself wondering whether I was or not within the limits, panicking I could hurt someone else...
These episodes and the impulse to drink in the morning that was starting to appear more and more often, made me decide to stop. And for the first time ever (another first) I had proper withdrawal symptoms. A horrible day 1; not a hangover. I know there is no way back. I don't want to go back to that day 1 in whatever version it presents itself, because I have enough evidence to know it will be worse each time.
Thank you for sharing your story.