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Drinking on the job

Old 07-25-2019, 04:00 PM
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Drinking on the job

I was sitting reflecting earlier about how deep into alcoholism I used to be. I know that it’s progressive and pretty much everyone who has a problem with alcohol never thinks they are going to be one of those people that need a drink in the morning to set them right until it happens. That’s what happened to me and then eventually it got to well if this stops the pain then why stop drinking?! And the cycle begins...

Thinking back now I don’t know how I managed to hold down my job and not get fired or at least have someone call me out. Granted it didn’t start out so bad but I got worse over the years. It got to the point where I was having vodka for breakfast. I would fill up water bottles to take to work even trying to sneakily drink on the bus on the way there (I don’t drive therefore no obstacles in the way of starting as early as possible!) I always had toothpaste and mouthwash in my bag and doused myself in perfume. There were times I drank in the toilet at work and on my lunch I would buy the pre mixed cans of gin and drink several of those in the restrooms of the big store nearby.

When this was going on I think my body had built up such a tolerance that I don’t think I ever actually appeared to be drunk. I guess I was just a maintenance drinker. However I looked like hell - I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my clammy skin, my flushed red face (I used to top up my makeup constantly to try and hide that too) and my bloodshot eyes. Not to mention the fact I must have stunk of alcohol?? I always tried my best to hide it but surely someone became aware of it at some point! I’ll always remember the time a client pointed out the fact I was shaking as I passed them the card machine. I was mortified.

I had 5 periods of absence last year and they were all related to alcohol in some way (depression, sickness, broken bone etc.) This year I have had exactly 0 :-)

Just wondering what everyone else’s experiences are with drinking on the job? Is it a line you ever crossed? I was intoxicated at work for so long it makes me wonder if anyone sees the change in me!
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Old 07-25-2019, 04:19 PM
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I cannot say I ever drank when I was in work however I drank heavily after work each night.

i would wake up feeling awful with terrible anxiety I would drag myself to work looking pasty and pale. I found concentrating hell, I couldn’t eat and suffered terrible heartburn. I would start feeling better around 5pm and all I could think of was buying booze when I got home.

in the end I had to call in at least once a week because I was too hungover to function.

I am now sober for 4 months. I never want the above to happen to me or anyone else ever again.
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Old 07-25-2019, 04:24 PM
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Yes it happened to me. Like you I never imagined in my wildest dreams I'd be oneof those people who would have a problem with alcohol, or drink in the mornings, but it sneaked up on me slowly but surely over the years. I used to need a drink earlier and earlier. I used to be able to wait till lunch time at work before I had a few drinks but yeah eventually I was waking up and needing to drink.

I'd get out of bed and feel so awful I'd pour myself a couple of vodka and oranges and have it for breakfast. I'd then pour wine into a water bottle and drink that on the way to work on the train. I'd keep myself topped up all day by popping to bars throughout the day..like you I was never really intoxicated, as my tolerance was so high, it was just maintenance. I looked and felt horrific though. I felt dead on the inside, alcohol just kills our soul and energy. I used to chew on mint gum all day and always thought I was getting away with it, but people must have surely known. I must have stunk of alcohol.

It was a truly horrible existence.
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Old 07-25-2019, 04:27 PM
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I ruined a little housecleaning business by drinking. I'd drink before and then call the people and tell them I was sick and couldn't come that day. I lost all my customers. I never want to go back to that way of life - it was horrible.
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Old 07-25-2019, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by noaddedsugar View Post
I was sitting reflecting earlier about how deep into alcoholism I used to be. I know that it’s progressive and pretty much everyone who has a problem with alcohol never thinks they are going to be one of those people that need a drink in the morning to set them right until it happens. That’s what happened to me and then eventually it got to well if this stops the pain then why stop drinking?! And the cycle begins...

Thinking back now I don’t know how I managed to hold down my job and not get fired or at least have someone call me out. Granted it didn’t start out so bad but I got worse over the years. It got to the point where I was having vodka for breakfast. I would fill up water bottles to take to work even trying to sneakily drink on the bus on the way there (I don’t drive therefore no obstacles in the way of starting as early as possible!) I always had toothpaste and mouthwash in my bag and doused myself in perfume. There were times I drank in the toilet at work and on my lunch I would buy the pre mixed cans of gin and drink several of those in the restrooms of the big store nearby.

When this was going on I think my body had built up such a tolerance that I don’t think I ever actually appeared to be drunk. I guess I was just a maintenance drinker. However I looked like hell - I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my clammy skin, my flushed red face (I used to top up my makeup constantly to try and hide that too) and my bloodshot eyes. Not to mention the fact I must have stunk of alcohol?? I always tried my best to hide it but surely someone became aware of it at some point! I’ll always remember the time a client pointed out the fact I was shaking as I passed them the card machine. I was mortified.

I had 5 periods of absence last year and they were all related to alcohol in some way (depression, sickness, broken bone etc.) This year I have had exactly 0 :-)

Just wondering what everyone else’s experiences are with drinking on the job? Is it a line you ever crossed? I was intoxicated at work for so long it makes me wonder if anyone sees the change in me!
I will add to this but my question is what type of job did you have?
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Old 07-25-2019, 04:43 PM
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When I was 27 I got drunk bouncing at the bar and lost the cover charge money.

2nd, when I was heavily involved in alcohol, I drank a few shots to calm me before going out and plowing snow for 30 hours. (probably the most shameful work related drinking).
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Old 07-25-2019, 04:47 PM
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Yep, here too. I worked in the entertainment industry for many years.
We had our own bar we frequented. Fifty cents off a beer. It added up.
While drinking was tolerated, being falling down drunk wasn't.
I remember my worst day. Doing a corporate show. I was working near the door and when break came I hit the bar. Three beers and three shots of tequila in twenty minutes. And I didn't leave early and didn't come back late.
It was just excepted. And I was not by far the worst case until the end years.
Saw co-workers die. Friends.
So, yeah.
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Old 07-25-2019, 05:06 PM
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I never drank on the job while at work, though there were times I drank while working from home just to keep things "even." And certainly plenty of times my last drink was at 5am, so there were definitely times I must have had a certain scent about me.

I'm convinced that people noticed but 99.9% of them were too afraid to say anything. Not in an afraid of me sort of way, but in an afraid of a really uncomfortable situation sort of way. Easier to ignore it than to confront it. Also (I know this sounds egotistical), I'm a stellar employee. It's kind of like the downside was worth the upside - to them.. I sort of retrospectively wish it wasn't that way. I mean, it would have been mortifying for someone to call me out, but my work is So Very Important to me that I think I would have come to my senses much sooner than I did.

p.s. I'll bet that client had no clue why your hands were shaking. Most people seem to be oblivious to the tell-tale signs we all know well.

O
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Old 07-25-2019, 05:15 PM
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My story is 100% identical to yours with two exceptions:

1. I'm a male
2. I was drinking in my car to/from work during the 45 minute commute

How I didn't get caught or fired is anybody's guess. Part of it is because I don't really have to interface with too many people as part of my job. Another part is because people are so wrapped up in themselves I'm pretty sure my hair could have been on fire and they wouldn't have noticed.
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Old 07-25-2019, 05:16 PM
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Like you I never thought I would do the things I did when I drank. I travelled for work and I had to make the 3 and a half hour drive every Sunday to my hotel room. Every Sunday I would start drinking and not stop even when I had to start driving. I can't believe I was never pulled over but like you my tolerance was so high I was just drinking to put off the ugly withdrawals.
Before I became an alcoholic I would wonder how the hell anyone could drink and drive and how incredibly irresponsible they must be.
I am so grateful to be sober over a year now.
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Old 07-25-2019, 05:50 PM
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drinking on the job lol, the first time my boss caught me they dragged me into the office, my axisety was so high i craked another one right in front of him. second time he threw it out. now im on mental leave until i can get my life together.
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Old 07-25-2019, 05:57 PM
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I have no DOUBT people have seen a change in you..how could they NOT.

Yes, I had a job for 19 years...and went to rehab 9 times in the first 9 years I was there..I also had 2 kids that I used for excuses all the time.

When I crossed the line was when I worked on a Saturday in the office alone and brought MY BEER inside....someone came to my desk unexpedectly and I KNEW I smelt like beer..Nothing was ever said..

The last 8 years I was at that company I was sober...I left that company and drank again in 3 months...and couldn't stop until 33 days ago....for good..this time again...

You sound happy...being sober is being FREE.
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Old 07-25-2019, 06:37 PM
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I always doubted the whole "alcoholism is a progressive disease" until I started drinking at work. High stakes, intense legal business with a 5th of vodka in my briefcase. One time towards the end calling in a car accident to my office so that I could skip out on a deposition and drink a litre to my face. A brutal, wasted life. So filled with shame. Made it out in one piece but not for any good reason, luck of the draw really.

Thanks for the reminder. Congrats on your sober time.
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Old 07-25-2019, 06:40 PM
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You bet

The first job I had out of college in a warehouse it was ok to drink beer at night on the job. Right out in the open, we had a fridge in the break room and people would come in at 4 pm and put a 12 pack in. Then when we closed to the public at 5, it was open season. You could walk around the place with a Coors tall boy in your hand and nobody said anything. It was common. Next job I drank on breaks, again it was no secret and others were doing it. Next job, same thing. We could drink beer at night. I worked 4 to midnight and at 11 PM the shift supervisor would ring the "beer bell" and then it was ok to drink the last hour, again, right out in the open. Seems kind of wacky, but it's true. I look back and am amazed that it went on. Company parties had booze too, once the company brought in a beer truck for a party. Of course, I abused it and I regret it now. I am sure I looked bad, no matter what the company culture was at the time.
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Old 07-26-2019, 12:25 AM
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My situation was very strange because , as a Somm and as a Brewery tap room manager, having drinks was expected. Tasting throughout the day, brewers drinking after shift but still operating heavy machinery, it was normal. I hid the fact that I was addicted somehow, I would go home after that first two or three and then finish by myself. It was never one. but they were all drunk all the time, so angry and bitching about working there. It was toxic. But I would still wait to go home. It was strange, but I think I was just too afraid to lose control and lose my job. I eventually left the career, I am glad I did.
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Old 07-26-2019, 01:54 AM
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I was in a public library yesterday. Typical small town library filled with people coming to use the internet with some help or access other services, or find some company, and many parents (mainly mothers)' groups.

When I went to the toilet, there were two small empty bottles of wine in the bin. It hit me. During the past months, I have often bought small bottles I could carry in my bag and then used the toilet to drink them disposing of them in the bin. This has been done mainly when I was out with other people and I needed to cover my addiction, pretending to be a 'normal' drinker while loading on extra alcohol in secret.

However, I have done this at work (about a dozen of times) lately. Sometimes I was driving back. A line I had never crossed ever was driving and drinking, not even a drop. I found myself wondering whether I was or not within the limits, panicking I could hurt someone else...

These episodes and the impulse to drink in the morning that was starting to appear more and more often, made me decide to stop. And for the first time ever (another first) I had proper withdrawal symptoms. A horrible day 1; not a hangover. I know there is no way back. I don't want to go back to that day 1 in whatever version it presents itself, because I have enough evidence to know it will be worse each time.

Thank you for sharing your story.
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Old 07-26-2019, 02:16 AM
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Used to take cans of booze on to a job to drink if I was left a key to their house.
So self destructive.
I gambled my whole livelihood, car license, people’s lives,and the security of my family.
Insane!
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Old 07-26-2019, 02:20 AM
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I didn’t drink before work but a couple of times I bought miniatures from the corner shop at lunchtime which I never in a million years thought I would ever do. I also used to leave work, stop at the shop round the corner and buy 2 bottles of wine and open one in the car park, down a 1/3 of a bottle in one and then have a few mouthfuls on the way home, this became every night too. I used to work from home sometimes and would start drinking at 9am often drunk on business conference calls. I worked in corporate and no idea how I didn’t get sacked, no-one really knew with the exception of one boss who asked me for a meeting after I had been drunk on a call and asked why I seemed “flustered” on the call. I knew what he was getting at, he knew I knew too. This was around the time I decided to book myself into rehab.

I can’t believe I sunk so low, that I actually justified it at the time and that I ended up like that. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did.

So grateful that I don’t live like that anymore! xx
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Old 07-26-2019, 02:41 AM
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I would wake up feeling like death. Since I drank all the liquor after work,I’d have to suck it up and pound a beer or two in the shower when I woke up. Most times I’d be able to keep it down, but not all the time. Then I stopped doing that and began having seizures at work. Good times.
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Old 07-26-2019, 02:59 AM
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Guy, thanks for all the stories in this thread. I have absolutely no urge to drink at the moment, but should I ever change my mind I will pull up this thread and I hope it will scare me straight.
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