I was sitting reflecting earlier about how deep into alcoholism I used to be. I know that it’s progressive and pretty much everyone who has a problem with alcohol never thinks they are going to be one of those people that need a drink in the morning to set them right until it happens. That’s what happened to me and then eventually it got to well if this stops the pain then why stop drinking?! And the cycle begins...

Thinking back now I don’t know how I managed to hold down my job and not get fired or at least have someone call me out. Granted it didn’t start out so bad but I got worse over the years. It got to the point where I was having vodka for breakfast. I would fill up water bottles to take to work even trying to sneakily drink on the bus on the way there (I don’t drive therefore no obstacles in the way of starting as early as possible!) I always had toothpaste and mouthwash in my bag and doused myself in perfume. There were times I drank in the toilet at work and on my lunch I would buy the pre mixed cans of gin and drink several of those in the restrooms of the big store nearby.

When this was going on I think my body had built up such a tolerance that I don’t think I ever actually appeared to be drunk. I guess I was just a maintenance drinker. However I looked like hell - I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my clammy skin, my flushed red face (I used to top up my makeup constantly to try and hide that too) and my bloodshot eyes. Not to mention the fact I must have stunk of alcohol?? I always tried my best to hide it but surely someone became aware of it at some point! I’ll always remember the time a client pointed out the fact I was shaking as I passed them the card machine. I was mortified.

I had 5 periods of absence last year and they were all related to alcohol in some way (depression, sickness, broken bone etc.) This year I have had exactly 0 :-)

Just wondering what everyone else’s experiences are with drinking on the job? Is it a line you ever crossed? I was intoxicated at work for so long it makes me wonder if anyone sees the change in me!