Fiona.....don't forget the 3 Cs.
You didn't Cause it. You can't Cure it. You can't Control it.
Also, it has only been a relatively short time, in the big picture since you separated...So. I think you should give yourself a break on the "forgive and forget" struggle.
I think that so many people think that if they rush to forgiveness, that everything is done and dusted....
To me, I think that forgiveness is, basically, an acceptance that history won't change itself..as we move forward in our lives.. I believe that forgiveness, like grieving and many other things, in life, comes in it's own TIME.....
And, I think that coming into more self-awareness plays a part, in the journey, also....
I think it is likely , given the short time, that you certainly must be in the throes of grieving the loss of the relationship and what that relationship meant to you....Anger is one of the emotions of grieving....one of the mixture of emotions. It is to be expected...even if it is not welcomed...lol...
It has been my experience that grieving people have a great need to express these emotions....especially the need to talk about them to understanding others....to express and feel validated....
And/or express in Some way....even if it is to scream and shake the fist at the heavens.
some people write out their emotions in a journal...(lol..I've never been able to do that)…
Of course, you are welcome to talk about what you are angry about, here on this forum...We do it daily, around here...lol....
Every person's life is different...and, it can take years for some people to be ready to forgive some things, in their own time...when they are ready...
Others...not so much. It is very, very, scenario dependent.
As for "forgetting"....well, unless you develop some kind of long term dementia....or amnesia...that won't happen....
However, it will, eventually, be relegated to some dusty corner of our memory attic....and, occasionally, pop into our mind...like some faded photograph---But, not with the searing pain of when it happened....
Like when we fell off the monkey bars and broke our arm when we were 8 yrs. old.....we never really forget that it happened.....