Originally Posted by fionamccarthy

Thank you so much and yes, completely true, and the fact that he is indeed 'the dying man' (in lot of different ways- bigger and smaller) breaks my heart into million peaces. Which is probably why I went from NC to talking with him every once in awhile again. I guess I cant seem to let him go entirely just yet.

After all, he is really smart and gentle person deep down and we were good friends too, so this is all the more reason and heartbreaking to disengage entirely.

However, it is indeed so to the point @trailmix- these struggles and doubts do resurface every time we talk. So i might go NC again alright.

But even when NC, my problem is this built up anger and resentment and no ways of releasing it somehow... I just feel like a closed book sometimes, full of stories but they weight heavy on me now and my energy is depleted ...