"One of the most difficult things about overcoming narcissistic abuse is shifting the dynamic from dwelling in pain and ruminating on the past to gaining momentum that will launch us into a brighter future.
The pain is a natural response to the abuse, which broke our heart and in most cases destroyed our sense of self. So we are dealing with a lot.
Although this refers specifically to recovering from narcissistic abuse, dealing with advanced alcoholism has many of the same characteristics.
You and your children are dealing with a lot. It's absolutely okay to create a new life without the alcoholic.