Originally Posted by
venuscat 
Purina, I feel like this is all getting you so wound up, and you are doing so so well: I don't want anyone to sabotage your progress here.
I understand that you are upset, but I also understand your friend not wanting to do that. That would make me uncomfortable as well....sorry.....with love....but it would. Please try not to take it as he doesn't care about you.... there doesn't have to be blowback here: you can just let it go. Do the meeting if you want, your friend will be fine with you, and you can still ignore (politely) the oldtimers who are too persistent.
Hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts.
s
Thank you for your kind words. I feel very deeply hurt that this guy John would not stand up for me. I feel completely un-supported. I mean basically the guy John would prefer to never see me ever again at the meeting then to have a 3 minute chat with Eddie.
Its hard to feel loved in a situation such as that. I just dont fit in with mainstream society in general and it is so difficult for me to make friends. Its a lonely existence when you are "different" like me.
I feel like an alien from another planet that has incarnated here on Earth. The violence, the lack of affection, the distrust and separateness that I observe in the big city makes me very sad. Eating animals or harming them also makes me sad.
I wish i didnt have to live here anymore, it is so painful