Raindrops. I have been angry for maybe too long. I was in my relationship for a decade, so that's enough time for resentment about the way I was being treated to form deep wells in my soul. Even after I figured out that I was being lied to, I stayed because I had invested so much in the relationship and I had hope that the person I thought he was was the person he could be -- those were dumb reasons to stay. I also stayed because he had a mental health issue underlying the addiction, and I thought that leaving a person with a mental health issue, whose choices could kill him, would be immoral: I couldn't bear the thought of him dying alone (even if it was from his own bad choices). So I stayed. I stayed until I hated my reflection for staying. Then he gave me the gift of being violent towards me and I thought, 'oh, hell no!', and got out.
And I am still angry years later. I am angry at me. I am angry at him. I am angry at the dozens of mental health professionals who saw us and never once said, "yes, you can leave him." Instead they said, "this is a seriously complex form of PTSD" and also: "we can't comment on his addiction because we don't know enough about that drug". Words to those affect. So I am angry. I'm sure it shows up on this form sometimes: Okatz, the Mad.
However, it's better than feeling sad. It's better than all the other feelings I have had from time to time. I try not to look back... because I can't go back. At least anger propels me forward. At least -- that is what I tell myself.
So... you have a right to feel angry. You may not feel angry forever. Over time you may feel less angry. I aim to one day feel indifferent (that means that I can let go of fear: fear of him stalking me again, fear of meeting another person like him... fear of not making the right choices.)