Raindrops,
I have no experience with phone or online meetings but you
should try them!
Get some paper and a pen and start writing. Strong emotions,
confusion, sadness - writing helps with all of these. It helps
to sort them out and understand them/yourself better. Don't
worry about what to write, just put the paper before you and
pen in hand and let loose. Don't be afraid of your feelings and
if you need to stop and punch some pillows, or scream into
some pillows, do it.