rescuer....the way I look at it...you are under no obligation to stay in the marriage....Even if she stays in recovery for the rest of her life....you are not obligated…..
That a person doesn't WANT to be in a marriage...for any reason...is enough reason not to....
And...even if she wants you to stay in the marriage...that doesn't matter---because, she has to learn to live life on life's terms...as we all do.
In our Western idea of marriage...both persons have to want it, for it to work in a way that nurtures and not just to exist....
We are each different in what we can/want to tolerate...and, what we want out of life....
There may have simply been too much water under the bridge....
It is not always possible for us to keep those that we love or have loved....
Life on life's terms....