No way. I say this as the sober spouse of a sober man, whose ex wife didn't quit drinking til more than a year after their divorce. Their daughter lived with him the first year, then with us the second. Once her mom was sober, she picked up or brought home my stepdaughter and let her out at the main, visible entry to our building. Never OK to come up, even then; clear boundary.
I'm going to just throw in that a police station is a solid choice for exchanges. If a Sober Link type device is put into his (or her) car AND you do pick ups there, he can't leave with the kids if he fails (I assume this would have to be put into your decree). Things like public transportation or Lyft or such would probably need to be addressed here too, as crazy at that might sound as I write it out!
Achievable and specific methods seem to be what you need and are struggling with...and the part about calling your parents seems like a situation that puts them in the middle of something above their paygrade - and keeping them enmeshed in your relationship. Police can be called any and every time- and that would be excellent documentation.
This all sounds really awful for you and the kids. Strength to you.