Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
Heck no!
If my XAH just showed up, I would send him packing. In no way do I hang around his place, and I sure as heck don't want him hanging around mine.
When we drop off kids for exchanges I do speak to him in the drive before I will let my child go w/him to to make sure he is sober. I do not speak to him when he brings my child home. He walks up to the door and hugs her and leaves.
I have often blocked my XAH during the time my child is not w/him. If he is going to bug the crap out of me, I would block him. Then I pretty much have learned to Gray Rock him, and that has made him realize I ALWAYS stick to those boundaries. If it's not a CONSTRUCTIVE conversation about our children that needs to be had, I don't answer his texts or calls. He knows it and it really has changed his behavior. There have been times that I believe I could have went after him for stalking or something related. I should have done it.
Stick to your boundaries and do what is good for you and your children. His issues are his own.
I have heard of the Gray rock method. I’m working on becoming better at it. I feel like he always uses the topic of the “kids” to get me to talk to him so honestly I don’t fall for that anymore. He usually will take that opportunity to bash me verbally. I prefer not to speak directly to him anymore. I’ve learned to set boundaries and keep them over the years.
About 3 weeks ago he was across the street my house at the park with his gf (whom is involved with gangs and drugs). They were playing volleyball at 1pm. It was about 100 degrees that day. Neither of them live in my area so out of all the parks to go to they go to the one by my house. My kids have never met or seen his gf. My DS7 knows nothing about her. He believes his father is single. My concern is them hanging out my house. I had a conversation with my X about 2 months ago about her and her family. Her family is involved in the gang life. Her parents were deported back to their country for drug trafficking after doing some time in prison. Her brothers are currently in prison for attempted murder. From other people in my town I hear she is apart of that lifestyle as well. He promised he that she would never be around my kids. What bothers me is that they both know where I live and I don’t feel safe with either of them by my house. I feel like my X did this on purpose.
I went outside and took picture of them by house. My X is now associated with these type of people so I’m not sure what he is into now. There is no sane person that I know that would want to be hanging around their Xs house.