I grappled with drinking for so many years. During the final few months, I ended up going to almost every E.R. in Las Vegas for detox bc I would get home, relapse, hate myself, then drink more and sink further into a perpetually dark existence. I knew I was f**** at home and had to find the will to go back to the hospital. And everytime, the hardest part was getting there because I always had some reason not to go 'now'. I would say things like, but what about my son?, what about my BF?, how are they going to get on without me?, what if I have to stay for a day?, 2 or 3 days?, how will everyone manage without
me around?....
Looking back, I was only making excuses to keep drinking. Because I was Scared.. Terrified!..to figure out
how in the h*** I could manage without adrink, when in fact, it
was the booze making my life
totally unmanageable..
Crazy right?
I can't say that the first trip to the E.R. changed everything...nor did the 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th. .in fact,
each time was harder and harder bc my alcoholism got more clever at devising excuses to keep me away from the hospitals!
Fast forward 66 days, I couldn't be more satisfied with my decision to quit, and seeking help outside of my home. I am Free from the mental torture and the physical torture that alcohol prescribes. You can be too. It sounds far-fetched, but it
is true when ppl here on SR say that
it can be done and
all it takes is
to not take that next drink. Just don't give up. God Bless You.
